First week IN PERSON since Friday, March 13th, 2020

 

The first week of in-person school during the pandemic of 2020 is behind us. We can exhale a bit (at home with our masks off and a cocktail in hand). This week was ....challenging, but it was also exciting and fun! 

What worked well

First of all, we have amazing outdoor spaces!  With our slow start of only half the Navigator classes (about 30 kids in total; 10 from each class) we were able to play a whole group game outside!  Each pod was 14 feet apart from another pod and we made a giant outside circle!  It was awesome. We played the game where you write a word on a paper and stick it to one student's back and they ask 20 questions to figure it out. The students love this game. This big outdoor space AND the three outdoor shaded class areas are ALL OURS - just Navigators - and it's nestled back deep in campus past the soccer field.

I am also fortunate enough to be in a brand new barn for a school building! It's been completely renovated (understatement) and has all new HVAC system, windows in every classroom, lots of individual space, comfortable temperature...it's wonderful!

The third best thing about being back at Compass are the PEOPLE!!  It is glorious to see children on campus every day; it's delightful to connect with my colleagues each day. Most of all, it's incredible to be teaching in person, watching everybody working, building new relationships, and adapting to all the changes.

What was hard

The week was also really challenging.  Things you might think were the "hard parts" about teaching in a pandemic might include wearing the mask or distancing the students. I must share that we (staff and students) didn't struggle with those things too much.  Wearing the mask all day can be uncomfortable if it gets damp (carry an extra!), or if it's super hot outside (sweat!), or when trying to project your voice all day (I do have a voice amplifier!), but most of the time I honestly forget that my mask is there. However, when it comes to mask, shape and fit really matter.  Here I am sporting one of the masks my husband made for me:

I have tried loads of masks. Often I'm wearing one that is homemade (usually from my hubby or my daughter), but brands like jaanuu, pair of thieves, and stratton fashion have all been great! My biggest complaint about the mask was actually how it sort of discouraged me from drinking my water; I felt so dehydrated after day 1. So, on day two I told every class we'd begin with a check in: Do you need a mask break? And if so, please drink some water. I'm encouraging us to associate our mask break with a sip from our water bottle - seems like a healthy habit.

Following the gold standard of keeping students 6 feet apart was ok. Our classrooms are big and there's only 20 students max in each class. We have only two students in the 7th/8th grade that opted for virtual learning, but that is an option for everyone due to the pandemic. We also have that great outdoor space so it feels pretty comforting to be in fresh air.

I'd say one of the biggest challenges this week was the end-of-day defeat. It was exhausting. I am working full time this year and part of my role includes stepping in as a substitute when someone is out. Well, on September 17th our newly hired math teacher quit. So in-person this week, I covered all the math and all the Spanish classes - with no breaks til end of day Friday. I was spent. To be fair, the kids were spent too!  We've spent about six month hardly leaving the house at all, seeing very few people. Now we're together at school 8:15am until 3:30pm every day - big adjustment. It was both a blessing to my heart and sheer exhaustion for my brain and body.

It also felt like we were walking into walls every day: we updated everyone's chromebook with the new barn wifi yet the default is TCS and every day kids were freezing and struggling to problem solve, the tvs weren't working in our classrooms, we couldn't use cast for lessons, the printers and copy machine didn't work in the barn, there was no wifi in the outdoor classes, students forgot chrome books at home, chrome books broke, students were absent and information as to their health was unclear, there was no time to eat, there was no prep time, the chairs all roll...everywhere, our walkies didn't work, ..  

It was crazy.

I came home Friday around 4pm and filled the bath with epsom salts and lavender. I got in and cried for about 20 minutes before pulling my shit together. Week 1 is behind me. I'm ready for a new week. It has to be better; our new math teacher starts tomorrow!

First Day of School, 2020-2021

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL YEAR 20-21 = SUCCESS!

Despite the fact that we hoped to start school year IN PERSON, we had a great first day. Nearly all of our students made a virtual appearance; and we spent some time getting to know one another. We played a game where each student had a turn at the virtual spinning wheel and then was asked a question.

Students shared their responses and then chose the next person to respond. Everyone was able to participate and it was awesome to see students (most had cameras on) and hear their responses.  Of course there are challenges when starting the year virtually...I wondered:

Did all students have working wifi/internet? 

Were they able to access their student email? 

Did they see anyone familiar in their advisory? 

Were they anxious or feeling comfortable with sharing on screen?

Our hope is that we are virtual just for the first week while the finishing touches are secured in our new barn space. As you can see, it's coming along.  By the end of this week, we're hoping for the certificate of occupancy so we can be on campus!

What were some of the challenges of today? 

*Not everyone has a good connection. Some individuals freeze or get kicked off - which isn't terrible if they can log back on, but it's painful if it happens repeatedly and they aren't able to feel connected to the group.

*Even teachers can lose connection.  We had two staff members in each advisory; this is particularly helpful is one has a weak connection, but also fun for staff to get to know each other and the students together.

*New students might be a bit quieter as they don't know the community yet. The welcome might feel warmer in person, BUT we didn't have to wear masks online so you could definitely see the SMILES.

*It was a slow start because all of the staff hasn't had a chance to meet all of the students yet. We can't give work to classes we haven't connected with.  I don't think students were disappointed with a light load, but I did hear one student say, "My mom is upset I don't have more work to do." I can understand that parents are ready for someone else to keep their kids busy.  It was a long 6 months at home for some families.

What were some of the successes of today? 

*Almost perfect attendance. It was delightful to see so many students in our google meets.

*We smiled! We laughed! We played games!

*We established some norms for virtual learning, clarified the schedule for the week, and students joined their google classrooms.

*We answered questions about what in-person learning will be like. Students wondered about masks and breaks and distances and recess.  It might be helpful to have some of those answers before we're in person.

I can't wait to see what the rest of the week will bring...and really hope we're on campus next week! 

First day back for staff

I thought I'd share a picture of myself on my first day back at work for the 2020-2021 school year!  I had a wonderful day.  It was so great to see all of our staff in person (although the full staff meetings are still virtual - our director will not have us all gathered in one room).  We got to check out the progress on the Barn, imagine how we'll utilize our outdoor classrooms (each covered by tents or shade sails), establish some new routines, and begin planning the first days back with students.  

I've been back on campus a few times...and each time my heart is happy!  The Compass School has always been a place of joy; and even while wearing masks, I can see each teacher smiling and feel the warmth of their kindness.  I feel so safe on campus. Everyone is following all safety precautions and it'll be safer than any beach, shopping excursion, or play date! I trust our school and staff (not to mention viral counts for sending districts are SO low).

While the teachers meet and plan, I just keep thinking about the students.  I am looking forward to their return!  We are planning a slow re-entry: half of the students will arrive on Monday and half on Tuesday...giving us time to teach all the new routines with ease.  In addition to the pandemic curbing our style a bit, we expanded the middle school and moved into a new building.  Oh, and we have some new staff on our team as well.  Lots of things look different, but today I can't help thinking:

Things will look different, but different can be ok!

My daughter had track today (town rec program). They too did it differently, and it was a success! The kids walked to the lawn wearing masks, stood on place markers 6 feet apart, and kept space while running and stretching. The biggest risk is being within 6 feet for 15 min or longer (droplet exposure) which can't happen while you're exercising.  To see the kiddos happily exercising together was a true joy.

There is no denying that we are in a pandemic. Activities don't look the same as they did before. We are taking so many precautions to stay covid-free (as a family, as a school, as a community) and you know what, I think it's working!  I'm so grateful for scientists and out-of-the-box thinkers who create new solutions (ie. teaching outside! plexiglass! stable pods! tag with pool noodles!) and I'm so grateful to reclaim social time with peers. My kids desperately need time with other kids. I long to be out of my house which has been both my safe haven and prison at the same time. There's no way to know what the future holds, but so far the outlook is bright!

Welcome Back!

Today, August 31st, 2020, was a much anticipated day for families and teachers in RI.  Governor Raimondo announced that all but 2 districts in RI (Providence and Central Falls) were ready to re-open for students as of September 14th.  For me, this means as of Thursday, September 3, I am working full time for The Compass School. 

What will things be like? 

I will be using this platform to share my experiences as a teacher and a mom of three during this crazy time.  I will share what this all looks like through my own eyes, but also through the lens of my children and community. Recording and reflecting might allow for common concerns and/or solutions to arise. May we share in opportunities to learn and grow!

What new safety measures are put in place to keep our community safe?

I'm feeling really ready to go back to our school this week! 

TCS (how I will now refer to The Compass School) is truly set up for success. Honestly, i  f anyone can pull it off safely, it's Compass!  Let me tell you why...

First of all, TCS met all of the criteria set out by Governor Raimondo:

Second, TCS has a solid re-opening plan. Our staff has continuously worked to make our school as safe as possible; and our director is out-of-this-world amazing.  She predicts and prepares and we all move forward together. 

A couple of things worthy of note:

• Students will be in stable pods of 20 
• Teachers will rotate to students
• Every class will have it's own outdoor classroom space - also used for lunch - we have 27 acres!
• Students will be spaced 6 feet apart, facing one direction
• Students have assigned bathrooms
• Students will not share materials (including desks, pencils, etc)
• Masks will be worn except during lunch and mask breaks (both preferably outside)
• New cleaning protocol is in place
• Students will monitor health daily
• There will be a clinic area staffed by a nurse every day

Third, we are a tiny community (already capped at 20 students per class). When I look at the list of viral cases in RI, it is pretty clear the risk is really low for Washington County - where our school resides.  This is great news: the majority of our students come from towns lowest on the list of confirmed cases!

Forth, we already teach outside! We have a farm! We have animals and plants and gardens and a green house and a silo even!  We have outdoor basketball and volleyball, trees to climb, a vernal pond, a soccer field area, trails, and more!  We are set up for some real learning and play...outside!

Fifth, we got STUFF!  Our director was quick in ordering because she had a hunch we'd be ready for in-person learning this Fall. She has sun shades and tents, voice amplifiers for teachers, extra cleaning supplies and cleaning staff, ... Basically, we have what we need to be successful.

My thought is: kids are resilient.  

And, not for nothing, so are teachers!

It's going to mean so much to see friends, to learn from teachers, to eat lunch together and play outside. Yes, it will look different. They'll be spread apart more and wearing masks. Will they know if others are laughing? YES! Will they be learning? YES! We are all going to move forward...whether in person or distance learning or a hybrid of both.  I'm grateful to reclaim a bit of normalcy. I can't wait to get the classrooms ready (oh, by the way, we have a brand NEW, well-ventilated new building for grades 3-8) and welcome back all the students! #wevegotthis!

Note, I am also grateful that families in RI are guaranteed a free distance learning option. While it’s not ideal, some schools may not be able to offer a safe, regulation-compliant learning environment. I understand my situation is special and I hope it is an example of what can work!  

Friday Friends

Hello Friday Friends,

Here's my best corona-virus advice to parents: 

Do the things you want to do with your children. 

Do the things you want them to do. 

Model it. 

Do it. 

Live it. 

Here's what I mean:

I love being in nature - so as a family these kids have been hiking since birth.  Yet - for whatever reason(s),  my kids don't always want to go. They don't want to leave the house sometimes. Or they're grumpy, tired, lazy, busy,...  whatever. I drag their butts anyway. Sometimes I'll take just one of them. That's so delightful.  I love one on one time with any of the kids.  In any case, if you like nature, bring them!  Bonus: lots of advantages for all of us when we get some time outdoors!

Take advantage of your own outdoor space. When we have friends over and we hang by the fire, I'm always digging the vibe it offers.  Have a fire with your kids!  Maybe you roast marshmallows or cook a hotdogs to spice things up. Perhaps you can show your kiddos how to whittle a stick, or build a fire, or roast a hot dog. It's pleasant sitting by the fire...especially as the sun sets.

Need to escape? Take a ride!  You can blast some tunes, pick up dinner to go, and cruise around for a change of scenery. Bring just one - or all of your kids. If you have a sleepy toddler, even better!  Maybe they'll fall asleep...bring a book to read and park near the water!

Not for nothing, but I LOVE playing games. I have a bit of a competitive edge.Whether I'm crushing Drew at boggle, playing yahtzee or Blokus, doing puzzles, singing karaoke, or playing Mario Bros on Wii, I LOVE GAMES! So, it makes sense that when my kids need some time and attention from me, I offer up some game time.  It's truly a win-win for all of us (unless all the kids play - then someone is bound to cry at some point LOL).

 

I enjoy baking...and even more-so eating! So I have also been baking with the kids since birth. And at this point, I can trust any of the three kids alone in the kitchen.  Melia, however, is the most impressive. She is ten years old and made that delicious cinnamon role featured here from scratch!!  She has made us banana bread, muffins, pancakes, banana cream pie, carrot cake cookies, sweetish meatballs, pizza, pasta,... I could do a bit of work around getting her to make more dinner meal (LOL), but I will say she's always happy to help! She's for sure my kitchen side kick. Today she made egg salad sandwiches for her and Dean.
I think ALL kids should be in the kitchen. Once they are ready to be independent, give them space. It's ok if they get things wrong or make a mess; it's all part of learning. Maybe some morning you'll be waking to a delivery of coffee and home made pancakes. Happens here and it's dreamy....



Take walks in your neighborhood. Find beautiful flowers. Write a letter to a friend or family member who you can't see. Clean spaces. Call friends. Zoom with your family. Fill the bird feeders. Watch the squirrels. Name the regular visitors to your backyard. Start an exercise program. Clean out the garage.

Do all the things YOU want to do. 

Do the things you want your kids to do. 

Do them together!

If you do them together, they're more likely to do them on their own 

AND you can have fun together.

Your little ones crave your attention. If you do the things you enjoy doing with your kids, you all benefit. What activity can you enjoy during this pandemic while spending time with your little ones?

Friday Friends

Dear Friday Friends, 

To be totally honest, there are times where this whole experience is really hard.  Like my brain hurts from trying to figure out 7th grade math at 9am. Or maybe my confusion comes from her crying about how her brother "didn't get in trouble." That frustrates her.  I don't even know what getting in trouble means. This conversation can last fifteen minutes! Or, maybe it's having your grocery delivery cancelled after waiting 10 days for food that throws a day for a loop.  All I know is that there are lots of loops. Lots of frustrations. Lots of head aches. Lots of overwhelm.

But there are terribly delightful moments as well. I love hearing my children singing (Melia is still in RICC and Drew is in an acappella group), playing piano, playing flute...and even the random dancing! Music brings me joy. I also love the independence and self-initiated habits they've developed. This is a good age range of kids (10-14) for a quarantine. They can make food for themselves and the family; Melia is baking like crazy! I get to enjoy homemade cookies, cakes, breads, pretzels...delicious goodies all the time. We are having real dinners together most nights. Sitting together at the table. No rush. We're playing more games, watching shows together, and going on hikes. I like the pace. There are some sweet moments each week for the family.

Times are different. I am doing my best to stay grounded. Meditating is helpful...and I should be doing way more of it.  I love getting outside, but I am struggling to do it by myself. I'm feeling disconnected from my body, my *self*. Jen and I have gone walking and we hardly come across anyone and it's so nice to see her...even from 6 feet apart. I always feel better when I see her and when I get outside: double win! I'm listening to really calming music too - like Ryan Montbleau and James Taylor. Music again for the win! I'm trying to reduce the anxious response I feel, and create a new norm. I know it won't be this way forever. I know we're safe right now. I know we're ok.  So, can I just roll with things? I'm trying.

How are you doing? Are you ok?

Sending love,
Kristen

Bringing it down...to peace

Dear Friday Friends,
I have been thinking a lot about mindfulness. Meditation. Gratitude. Nature. Peace. These days are often heavy...working from home, supporting kids through virtual learning, not seeing friends & family, trouble getting groceries, the flu, car troubles, exhaustion & fatigue, health worries, lots of unknowns, financial concerns, global pandemic, ...you name it!  One of the greatest gifts helping me through this, allowing me to reconnect with myself and a sense of calm, is mindfulness. Being present in just this one moment without entertaining a slew of "what ifs".  Actually, I recently posted:

I have been trying to practice meditations daily too. Some days I've even meditated more than once. It is very calming and again, has you focusing on this very moment - the breath - the place where peace can be found. 

Meditating, walking in nature, singing, dancing, practicing gratitude, taking a bath or shower, baking or cooking, planting...these activities all keep us in the present moment.  HAVE THESE KINDS OF MOMENTS!

Do you practice gratitude? Do you write it down? Share aloud?

Do you exercise? From inside your home or in the neighborhood? 

Are you getting fresh air every day?

Are you feeding your body healthy foods?

Are you listening to your body?

Are you sleeping enough? 

Drinking water?

Hugging?

I have found all of these things to be helpful; and encourage you to explore these moments. I am here if you need any support or encouragement for adopting healthy habits.  Feel free to send me an email!

Meanwhile, I love social-emotional growth and insight. I love listening, supporting, growing, sharing, learning. I found these upcoming Free events that may interested you. I've signed up!  Love to have you join me!

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Challenged by nonstop parenting?
Another FREE resource!

The Parenting with Love and Logic course, which comes highly recommended, has been made free for the month of April.

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This sounds like a lovely social-emotional wellness opportunity for parents while perhaps learning some things to share with our kids. And, it's FREE!

Commune’s 7-day Spiritual Survival Guide offers techniques and teachings from 14 of the brightest minds in wellness and spirituality to address this harrowingly anxious time for humanity.

Spiritual Survival Guide

By joining us in this 7-day journey, you will learn how to:

• Cope with sadness, fear, and anxiety 
• Stay centered, grounded, and calm
• Support your immunity with chemistry-altering breathwork
• Relax deeply and tap into your body’s innate ability to heal
• Build strength and flexibility with at-home movement
• Eat mindfully and joyfully
• Tap into daily gratitude
• Identify and address unhealthy patterns
• Anchor each day with powerful affirmations

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Peace & Love,

Kristen

Front Steps Project

If you haven't heard of the front steps project, it's a way to document a bit about who we're stuck at home with quarantined with while these stay at home orders are in place.  My family hasn't really seen anyone since March 13th, 2020, but my husband and I drove around to take some photos of families on Saturday - from 6 feet apart of course!  Then we took a selfie family pic on Easter Sunday in front of our house. It's neat to document our homes and families during this pandemic.
Below are my photos. If you live nearby and want to be photographed, send me a message.

First stop: The McClanaghan-McCall family (my cousins)

 Second stop: The Trainer-Russell Family

Third stop: The McClanaghans (my parents!)

Fourth stop:  The McClanaghans (my brother's family) in South Kingstown

Fifth stop: The Walsh Family

And below is my family (The Kardos family) on Easter Sunday, 2020

I'm happy to be at home with my family during this hard time. I hope everyone is safe. I am worried about everyone. If you need anything, reach out!  I would be happy to support from afar or run an errand if needed. Sending wishes of peace to everyone near and far.

Impacts of #Coronacation

Needing Space...

I can understand how everyone might feel the need to take some space right now - I feel it too.  Prior to the COVID19 pandemic, I was officially working part time. My teaching job had me on campus about 6 hours a week and another 6 hours was spent facilitating groups.  Sure, I had planning and emails, marketing and conferences, and lots of behind the scenes work - but I had space.  Space from people. Space from noise. Space.  I had gotten into a rhythm of walking alone a couple times per week, but even if I didn't walk at all I knew I could. To be fair, my kids are all old enough that I can sneak away for bits of time now, however, at this point, I'm not going anywhere. So, I'm thinking of the years when my kids were little and needed me ALL the time.  I'm remembering all those days I was exhausted and needed space - realizing that I feel that way now too.  I'm working 6+ hours a day right now (more if I'm being honest) while supporting my kids as learners and trying to maintain a home (meals, laundry, etc) for a family of 5.

How do we get space when there's a stay at home order in place?

I'll share a few things that have worked for me.

ART PLAY
On days when we knew school would be cancelled due to snow or there was a hurricane leaving the school without power and closed, I would often set up an art activity after the kids went to bed. In the morning, they'd wake up so excited.  When the proper materials are available, inspiration is more accessible.  Maybe you want to make a bunny out of toilet paper rolls - create one and leave all the supplies on a table for you child(ren) to do the same.  Or dig out an old coloring book and markers that work.  (Yeah, it's a good time to throw out the dry markers - they steal joy from art!) Or, if your kids are a bit older, find an online tutorial for them to follow along.  Art can entertain kids of all ages - grab a little space for yourself while they're creating (tell them you want it to be a surprise!).

FACETIME
Maybe your neighbor, or mom, or child's friend was a regular visitor who helped you find a few minutes to yourself....facetime them!  While grammy is on the call with your kid(s), sneak away for a bit.  Or, let them have a virtual playdate with some privacy (for your sake just as much as theirs). Perhaps your younger child can give their friend a tour of the house, introduce the pets, or maybe they get creative and dance together.  When my son was around ages 8-10, he and his friend would FaceTime and draw comics together.  Invite a relative to read a story to your younger child(ren). As someone else provides some entertainment and attention for your child, step back and take a little space.

LET THEM MAKE A MESS
When my son was a toddler, he loved to take out all the spices in my drawer and march them to the coffee table in the living room.  He'd stack them up and it would take lots of trips back and forth.  Who cares! Let them do what is fun for them.  That same child spent yesterday baking his first solo batch of cupcakes.  He had some questions, but it was completed all on his own.  My kitchen needed a good cleaning afterwards, but so what!  Let them dump out the blocks, get into the tupperware, draw on the wall (jk!), play with the spices, blow bubbles inside the house, take out the art supplies, create with play dough, bake in the kitchen....it's going to be ok!  Step back, mama and papa!  Let them explore and create!

GAMES
My two youngest have been playing games together daily. Every time they learn something new, they seem to binge on it. A while back it was chess - they played it ALL THE TIME. Right now, it's backgammon.  They just learned how to play, and they're obsessed.  While the kids are playing, Mama is taking time alone.  Find a game they can do on their own (solitaire, legos, puzzles...) or something they can do as siblings and steal some time for you!

BATH TIME
Bathtime can be so much fun.  My kiddos now take showers regularly, but my daughter enjoys a nice bath with epsom salts.  When the kids were young, bath time was a daily occurrence. Of course the young children need to be supervised, but when they could be independent in the tub, I'd use that time to straighten up their rooms and get things settled for the night.  If your kids can bathe solo, let that be a calming time for you too!

STORY TIME
I have always noted that when my home seemed chaotic, I could open a book and start reading aloud and my kids would take notice and end up beside me listening quietly. Kids love stories. There are LOTS of people reading to kids on the internet now - even Dolly Parton - but more consistent might be the option of Audio books and podcasts.  We used to have books that came with a CD in the back (lots of Usborne books like that!). My kids loved those songs and stories when they were younger!  We also had leapfrog books with a guided tool so they could "read" independently.  Now, I can suggest 30 minutes of quiet reading and we all can do it side by side, or taking some space.  Quiet moments are a gift - take those moments to calm yourself and find your center (stay off social media and away from the news).

BUILD
Over the years, my kids have built everything from train tracks and car ramps to marble runs and robots!  Make use of things in the recycle bin.  Take out a tool kit. Or just use your imagination!  Building is fun and a great use of brain power. Set up a building challenge (ie. who can build the tallest, most supportive...structure) - this can be done with even a deck of cards!  You have more resources at your disposal than you may realize. Let them build, and step back.

DAILY HELPER
How can your child be a helper? Maybe your toddler can take a bowl of soapy water and wash spots on the floor.  Maybe your child can dust or match the socks or vacuum.  If you can get your little one to help with chores, your big kids are more likely to be helpers too.  Most kids LIKE helping out. Chores seem fun; it's like the child(ren) gets to role play being an adult. Let them put away silverware or sweep the floor or fold the towels...and take some space.

SCAVENGER HUNT
Have them find 10 things that are blue or things beginning with the "P" sound. Let them be explorers and learn through play.  Older kids might be tasked with finding things they would like to pass on to a younger friend or cousin. Even though my kid are getting older, we still give clues for them to run around in search of their baskets for Easter and they love it!  Create a hunt in your yard for signs of spring. Have them collect sticks for a fire. Give them a sense of purpose and fun. While they explore in search, rest.

I just want to remind you that there are ways to get them engaged and "busy" where you don't need to be the center of the activity...and neither does the computer/tv.  OF COURSE, use screen time to take space - that is a given - a 30 minute show can be your 30 minute nap. But there are other ways to take space too.  It is hard being cooped up (especially when it's cool and rainy - although my daughter says rain is her favorite weather LOL) and we all need space. Take space. It's ok.  If an extra 20 minutes alone fuels a few hours of engagement, the trade off is well worth it for all of you.

Finally, my favorite way of taking space is to wake up before they do!  Some folks stay up late, but I'm exhausted at the end of the day.  I'm asleep by 10pm many nights and up at 5am.  The quiet mornings are delightful.  I sip my coffee, listen to the bird, and right now, I'm typing away.  Find the quiet times, take the space, and create some balance in this time of chaos.

Friday Friends

Hello friends,
It's been a long week (or two) and we continue to stay socially distant as well as moving along the path of virtual learning.  I have to say, it's getting easier. I have noticed a huge reduction in my anxiety (which honestly had taken over for a week or so) and my kids have been wonderful (most of the time.  Here are a few peaks into how we spent down time this week:








A little fairy village popped up!

The kids worked on puzzles, played games, and cooked meals for the family.  Melia learned how to use the hoverboard (it's apparently not just an outside thing LOL) and Dean was a big help to her.

We spent a lot of time outside - sometimes with school work, sometimes reading, but mostly walking, hiking, or riding bikes. The biggest change I've noticed is how calm and kind my kids are.  Maybe it's because we're not rushing around, maybe it's all the time we're spending together since we can't see anyone else, but all I know is I LOVE IT.  The cooperation is amazing!  We are working hard on the virtual learning path 8:30am-2:30pm, but the rest of the time we're enjoying each other.  I'm looking forward to the weekend in hopes that we can spend MORE time outside, but I'm grateful that we've created some normalcy among this choas.  Kids thrive on routine - so we've kept bedtimes relatively the same and we're up by 7:30am.  This all feel healthy!  We're eating most of our meals together 💗 and everyone is really taking care of each other.  

I'm still well-aware that there is a terrible pandemic hurting thousands of people.  The US just placed number one in cases of coronavirus worldwide and it's still rising. All the stories, particularly those from NYC, are breaking my heart. I've been following a few friends who believe they have the virus, but due to limited tests and uncertainty of first hand confirmed exposure, they can not get tested.  I've been watching all the nurses and doctors sharing their experiences and insights.  I'm watching Governor Cuomo as he keeps us informed on the gravity of the situation in NY.  I also tune in to Governor Raimondo and Prez Trump (who is a total disaster!). Dr. Fauci is the only one I trust for the national briefings; and we he isn't on the panel we ALL start to worry. We need FACTS! To hear Trump suggest re-opening the country for business on Easter (it'd be beautiful) without ANY medical professionals showing support of this is SCARY AF!  It's also mind-blowing that he has turned this into a political parade for his re-election (PEOPLE ARE DYING!). He most obviously values money of people and the economy matters more than health.  It's a true tragedy.  Then Texas Lt. Governor suggested that older folks would sacrifice their lives for the economy for their children and grandchildren.  What the ****?!?! If we all just STAYED HOME, we wouldn't need the older folks to get sick and die.  We can rebuild the economy, but we can not bring back dead people.

So, I want to keep it real.  My family is having a special time together navigating social distancing and virtual learning, but the country is falling apart and our prez wants to re-open the economy and sacrifice folks like my mom and dad.  Bullshit. 

We are living in crazy times. I miss my parents; I miss my friends. I hate worrying that someone I love might get sick.  I'm not going IN to any stores anymore (there are delivery options!). I'm going to find all the silver linings and do what I can to keep my family and community safe.

Wishing you all some beautiful moments this weekend. But please: STAY AWAY FROM PEOPLE WHO DON'T SHARE A BATHROOM WITH YOU EVERY DAY!!  

Sending virtual hugs, 

Kristen

Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn

 

When our brains perceive a threat, we go into a response mode. We typically respond in one of four ways: FIGHT, FLIGHT, FREEZE, AND FAWN. The graphics below share information on what these responses look like. Before reading the descriptions, think for a minute how you respond to fear or anxiety. There is a spectrum for each of these as well.  I'm going to describe each response mode as it has been seen since the outbreak of the coronavirus - or COVID-19.

As mentioned, there is a spectrum for these response. A FIGHT response might present as assertiveness and leadership as it has with the director of the Compass School.  Upon learning that we'd be social distancing, she immediately got to work planning a virtual path to learning. She invited teachers and families to jump on board; and she created an incredible virtual school within one week's time. Amazing! She was assertive, courageous, and acted as a very determined leader.  However, a fight response can also present as being a critic or bully.  We see that side of a fight response when we our president is asked a question and responds by telling reporters that they're stupid and their news is fake because he feels threatened. As noted, both leaders may respond in a fight approach, it can look very different.  

With COVID-19 mandates that people quarantine,  we've seen a rise in people getting outdoors and spending time in the woods. However, many scared people in flight mode have also run from NYC, where the outbreak is the highest, to escape feeling trapped in an infected city. As you can see, there is a healthy way to respond in flight, but there may also be avoidance, panic, and running away.

In a freeze response, we find people sitting on their couch or staying in bed perhaps watching tv all day. There is often little action taken. However, a freeze response might also involve going inward to find peace. Meditation and mindful practices offer peace and an opportunity to disconnect from the chaos.

The fourth response is fawn - which folks are usually less familiar with. This can present as wanting to help others perhaps by listening and loving or by taking steps to help others manage. I know I have found myself jumping into my part time job as a teacher with 100% gusto. I want to provide service to my family, my neighbors, and my community; and I'm aware that there can be a loss of self with this type of response. There may be too much people-pleasing, self criticism, and more of a focus on others than oneself.

With all of these responses, we want to find some balance. It can be helpful to recognize how you respond and then consider where you might be on the spectrum.

For parents with young children, this video might help them understand their response. It can be beneficial to understand your own responses so you can veer towards the healthier end of the spectrum. When we understand why we do what we do, life becomes a lot clearer.  I love this video on amygdala hyjacking. It explains how chemicals and hormones are released from our brains when danger is perceived. This is to keep us safe!  Thank you, brain. However, sometimes it considers something a threat that is not, it gets over-stimulated, or it causes more harm than help. We need balance. And while the threat of COVID-19 is real, I can say at this moment my family and myself are safe, socially distant from others, and self-quarantined...so the risk of US getting coronavirus seems pretty low.  When triggered into one of these response modes, I try to take a few breaths and see the big picture.  I'll admit that while I have been trying to find balance, I'm not always successful. And THAT'S OK. I'm working on it. I encourage you to reflect, identify triggers, and remember that sometimes your brain perceives a threat that isn't real. Be open to calling out your brain: HEY-THANKS FOR WORKING HARD TO KEEP ME SAFE.  I'M OK! Do what you need to do to feel safe, be gentle with yourself and others, and remember this too shall pass.

Free, you say?

Looking for something FREE and FUN?  Something that might even entertain your kiddos for a while so you can work a bit? Here are a couple of things we love over here.

DUOLINGO is an app for learning languages.  As a teacher, I have my students log on to increase their listening, speaking, and vocabulary skills. They love it.

Our Ocean State Libraries also has a free app called MANGO.  I'm not so experienced with it, but if you have a library card, you may want to check it out. The library card also gives you access to free books online and in audio! Libraries are amazing resources!  Of course, they're closed during this coronavirus pandemic, but if you already have a library card, you have access!  Audible is offering some free stories for kids right now too.  As an Amazon Prime member, you also get a free 30 day trial.  This would be a perfect time to take advantage of that!

PODCASTS are amazing too!  It's similar to listening to a book, but offers series and you might find some that are 15-20 minutes in length while others could be an hour or more.  Some of the favorite podcasts for my children have been Story Pirates (we even saw them live several years ago!  We are big fans!) and Sparkle Stories (for kids ages 3-12).  Story Pirates offers clever takes on kids stories which they perform live on stage and record. It's silly and fun.  Sparkle stories are wholesome, kindness-centered, feel-good stories that you can trust.  Podcasts are great for adults too!

PRODIGY is a math game which my kids have loved particularly in early elementary school years.  Last summer, my daughter and her friends got the premium subscription and could play along together!  They loved it.  I love that they're playing math games and having fun!

I could definitely share more things that we've enjoyed over the years, but I want to share tangible resources without overwhelming you.  If you're not familiar with those apps, start there!  Let me know what you think!!

Got a favorite free app/website not mentioned?  Share in comments!

Virtual Learning, Day 1

Yesterday we got the dining room ready to be our official virtual learning space. There is a bulletin board with the schedule posted, some art they created this week on the walls and hutch, some fruit for a quick snack, and all the tools to make learning remotely successful. Our director had a very quick response to the COVID-19 so after a crazy week of expanding on google class and such (trust me, it was much more than that), we were ready to launch! Teachers are LIVE with kids all day (myself included) and kids met with each other, in live classes, and one on one for support.
The plan is amazing, but still day 1 was...intense.

I'm super grateful that my daughter, who is age 10, is not only an independent learning, but she's also super helpful! Today we all took lunch 11:30-1, but somehow I found myself making calls, sending emails, and following up on things.  All on her own, she made me a tuna sandwich with some chips.  Amazing.  After the day of school, I had more calls and emails and Melia made dinner for the family. Tonight she made spaghetti with pesto and a spinach salad.  I'm so proud of her!

Virtual learning looks like this: screen time.  However, with the live google meets/hang outs, it feels more personal as though we were still a connected community.  That was lovely.

When I finally logged off for the day, I went straight to Melia for some play-time.  I am feeling super empathetic that she is not getting time for recess or playdates...no time with her best girl friends. So, today, I was the girl friend.
We played with the American Girl dolls together.

After dinner, we had some good cuddle time on the couch.  Reality is, we all need face to face time, hugs, play, fun, connection....real life stuff!  So, when the screen is off, we have to connect.  It's more important now than ever.  And truth is, we only have each other.

The boys did well working independently AND with friends. My high schooler and I set up home base at the kitchen table (so as to not interfere with their live class times).  I checked in on Dean and his friends when they were talking math. Even though math was my best subject in high school, twenty-five years ago, I find myself a bit lost sometimes with his 7th grade lessons. HA!  It's true.  So, I guess I'll be learning during this virtual learning too!

I think the biggest lesson today was: WE GOT THIS. No, it wasn't "easy" and yes, I'm super tired...but we did it! Day one has to be the hardest day...such a steep learning curve.  One of my kiddos woke up with tears feeling really worried and later in the day that same child was leading and supporting classmates with some work. Incredible!  It's so neat for me to see them in their class-persona too.  They are respectful and kind, and eager to learn.  While I hope we don't have to learn in our virtual classrooms for the rest of the year, I'm glad we can continue to move forward - even if/when it doesn't look exactly the same.

Balance will come in the days ahead. One day at a time. We'll learn how to juggle the balls, which ones to let go of, and where we need to modify for success.  Today, the kids showed me that they can handle this.  As the parents, we can too.  Meanwhile, give some tasks to your kids. Keep expectations low fair. Stay calm; and when you're overwhelmed take some space for yourself.

A few things we can do for ourselves during this pandemic include showering daily (show up!), exercise (release anxious energy), play (connect with people you love), and meditate (give your monkey brain some down time).  I'm also trying to get good rest, eat well, and sleep enough so that my immune system stays strong.  While I'm not feeling really worried about the coronavirus right now because I'm practicing social distancing and staying home, I want to be in the best condition I can be should I too become infected. It seems like a real possibility since many folks are still not taking it seriously and staying home.

I have to say, I'm thinking of the students and the parents every day...wondering if they have enough food, if they're managing their stress, if they feel supported. If anyone needs any distant-loving, leave me a message. I see you.  I care. We're definitely stronger together 💗