Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn

 

When our brains perceive a threat, we go into a response mode. We typically respond in one of four ways: FIGHT, FLIGHT, FREEZE, AND FAWN. The graphics below share information on what these responses look like. Before reading the descriptions, think for a minute how you respond to fear or anxiety. There is a spectrum for each of these as well.  I'm going to describe each response mode as it has been seen since the outbreak of the coronavirus - or COVID-19.

As mentioned, there is a spectrum for these response. A FIGHT response might present as assertiveness and leadership as it has with the director of the Compass School.  Upon learning that we'd be social distancing, she immediately got to work planning a virtual path to learning. She invited teachers and families to jump on board; and she created an incredible virtual school within one week's time. Amazing! She was assertive, courageous, and acted as a very determined leader.  However, a fight response can also present as being a critic or bully.  We see that side of a fight response when we our president is asked a question and responds by telling reporters that they're stupid and their news is fake because he feels threatened. As noted, both leaders may respond in a fight approach, it can look very different.  

With COVID-19 mandates that people quarantine,  we've seen a rise in people getting outdoors and spending time in the woods. However, many scared people in flight mode have also run from NYC, where the outbreak is the highest, to escape feeling trapped in an infected city. As you can see, there is a healthy way to respond in flight, but there may also be avoidance, panic, and running away.

In a freeze response, we find people sitting on their couch or staying in bed perhaps watching tv all day. There is often little action taken. However, a freeze response might also involve going inward to find peace. Meditation and mindful practices offer peace and an opportunity to disconnect from the chaos.

The fourth response is fawn - which folks are usually less familiar with. This can present as wanting to help others perhaps by listening and loving or by taking steps to help others manage. I know I have found myself jumping into my part time job as a teacher with 100% gusto. I want to provide service to my family, my neighbors, and my community; and I'm aware that there can be a loss of self with this type of response. There may be too much people-pleasing, self criticism, and more of a focus on others than oneself.

With all of these responses, we want to find some balance. It can be helpful to recognize how you respond and then consider where you might be on the spectrum.

For parents with young children, this video might help them understand their response. It can be beneficial to understand your own responses so you can veer towards the healthier end of the spectrum. When we understand why we do what we do, life becomes a lot clearer.  I love this video on amygdala hyjacking. It explains how chemicals and hormones are released from our brains when danger is perceived. This is to keep us safe!  Thank you, brain. However, sometimes it considers something a threat that is not, it gets over-stimulated, or it causes more harm than help. We need balance. And while the threat of COVID-19 is real, I can say at this moment my family and myself are safe, socially distant from others, and self-quarantined...so the risk of US getting coronavirus seems pretty low.  When triggered into one of these response modes, I try to take a few breaths and see the big picture.  I'll admit that while I have been trying to find balance, I'm not always successful. And THAT'S OK. I'm working on it. I encourage you to reflect, identify triggers, and remember that sometimes your brain perceives a threat that isn't real. Be open to calling out your brain: HEY-THANKS FOR WORKING HARD TO KEEP ME SAFE.  I'M OK! Do what you need to do to feel safe, be gentle with yourself and others, and remember this too shall pass.